Garbage like this is a gift to sexist pigs. The tyranny of the queen bee. Dr Fuller said the problem was becoming worse in a more uncertain and competitive job market. When some women see female colleagues succeeding at work they feel threatened — particularly if their colleague is good at something they're not — and respond with "bitchy" tactics. These "bitchy" women can be driven by perfectionism, anxiety, a sense of not feeling good enough, a sense of anger or a sense of a sense of entitlement, Dr Fuller said.
The eight types of workplace bitches—and how to handle them from Working With Bitches: The Excluder sees other women as oxygen thieves if there is no personal gain from communicating with them. She can pretend you don't exist and fail to pass on important information. Don't chase after her. The more you dance after her, the more she ignores you.
You will be able to get minimum required communication by discussing the problem with a more senior manager. Make sure you obtain necessary information from any other sources. The Insecure micromanages everyone, trusts no one, and thinks that no one knows better than she does.
She is usually anxious and worried; this drives her perfectionism. She needs regular updates to allay her fears, so keep her updated before she chases you.
Keep your work and desk tidy to get her off your back. Get up as soon as she strides over to your desk so that you can speak with her without her peering over your shoulder at your computer. She has to nit pick, so the fewer criticisms the better and consider that as praise. Make sure you have colleagues or friends to give you feedback about how well you did on the project. The Toxic is a two-faced game-player who should never be trusted.
She'll suck up to you and be your best friend one minute, then gossip about you the next. Keep your distance figuratively and literally. Physical closeness makes it easier for her to slime you, vampire your energy, and irritate you with her blackness. Refuse to gossip, refuse to let her whisper or mutter ambiguous statements, and call her on them.
The Narcissist is a self-serving ego-centric mean girl who expects everyone to admire her. She doesn't care about the good of the company, only about looking good, and expects you to feed her ego. Don't expect much, if anything. If you need her buy-in on a project she needs to think it will be a feather in her cap, or an opportunity to bathe in the light. If she is denied applause and attention, she will sulk and turn belligerent and de-motivated.
Never become a handmaiden by doing personal favours or odd-jobs such as minding her animals, or covering for yet another manicure trip when she is supposed to be at a meeting. In another example, the American Medical Association breathlessly released a study in with the headline "Sex and Intoxication More Common Among Women on Spring Break", intended to warn women about their "risky" behavior while on break — but there was nothing about the men the majority of these young women would supposedly be having all this drunken sex with.
For those who haven't had the pleasure of being called promiscuous, it may be hard to understand just how profound an impact it can have. Women's value and morality are closely — though wrongly — tied to their sexuality. So "slut" or any of its variations is an accusation with power behind it. When multiple attackers videotaped themselves brutally raping an unconscious teen girl in California , for example — stopping to take dance breaks and find new objects to penetrate the young woman with — the first trial resulted in a hung jury because the defense argued she was promiscuous.
Another asked the jury: She's a sexual person! The accusation doesn't have to be that explicit to have real power. Cherice Moralez — raped by her 49 year-old teacher when she was just 14 — was called "older than her chronological age" by the judge in the trial — a more diplomatic way of saying she had it coming.
Her attacker was sentenced to 30 days in jail. Moralez later took her own life. Multiple girls have taken their own lives of late after being "slut-shamed" — an indication that the slur shows little sign of waning in the damage it does personally. Tanenbaum, whose forthcoming book is I Am Not a Slut: Slut-Shaming in the Age of the Internet , said that many of the girls she interviewed "had intentionally embraced the 'slut' label as a badge of honor to advertise their sexual empowerment.
But, she added, "they ended up losing control of the label when their peers turned it against them". Broader efforts to "reclaim" the word — via marches like SlutWalks , for instance — have largely failed. While the anti-rape protests that spread across the country a few years ago were popular in terms of attendance and media coverage, and I was an early supporter , many women felt the word "slut" was irredeemable - especially women of color , for whom racist stereotypes about their supposed innate promiscuity always presented a unique danger.
The "slut" idea hurts women politically as well. A safe contraceptive and a cancer vaccine were both held up for years because of fears they would make women "slutty", and anti-choice legislators and activists insist that that abortion providers are in the "business" of promiscuity — and use that accusation as a way to defund critical health care providers like Planned Parenthood.
So, what's a "slut", then? It's any of us, and all of us — especially those of us who step out of line in some way real or imaginary. It has little to do with the number of our sexual partners, or the way we dress or flirt, or if we take birth control or not. It's a warning more than a word — a reminder to women that we must adhere to the narrow standards of femininity and sexuality set out for us, or be punished accordingly. And in that way, the real meaning of "slut" is terrifyingly clear.
As always, women are sluts and men are, well, men. Topics Women Jessica Valenti column. Rape and sexual assault SlutWalks Feminism Protest comment..
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