In the second, the issue of dating never really came up. We would make plans based on our various work schedules. Sometimes he would come over to my house and others I would go to his. Often when I was at his, he would fix me breakfast, we would watch television and we would spend the day in bed. It was a good level of friendship and intimacy all the way around. I admit that I did find myself wondering if we could become something more.
He was getting over a bad divorce and getting back on his feet. We didn't end badly; it just sort of petered out. In the third and final friends with benefits package, he was very clear up front that he could only be friends with benefits. I wasn't concerned because I didn't see him as a long term for my future. However, I noticed that he was often abrupt, bossy, demanding and rude.
He didn't show any of the friendliness that one expects with friends with benefits. There was no intimacy or closeness. It appeared that he was only concerned about his needs. I knew that he was coming through a bad divorce; he walked in on his wife in their bed with another man. It resulted with him being arrested.
I understand that he isn't in the mood for another relationship, but does that mean that every other women must be treated poorly? Sexual gratification is more that just having one's physical urges met. There is another level in having foreplay and conversation. If I just wanted my sexual needs met, I could use a dildo. But a dildo can't hold me, kiss my body, manage different positions, or laugh with me.
When did the friends portion in friends with benefits get lost? It can't be very satisfying to jack off all the time. The physical connection is necessary. I'm not saying that people want the constant talking or hassle of a regular relationship to impede, but shouldn't the two people at least be friends? I found that I didn't like the third person very much and as a result the benefits were not as enjoyable.
In a No Strings Attached relationship - or would like to be in one? Nearly the entire room raised their hands when I inquired who was single. Then the crowd booed as the 10 people who were married lifted theirs. And of course everyone erupted in whoops and whistles after I asked if they were either having or wanted to be in a NSA-type arrangement.
Age wasn't a factor here, nor was race or gender. I was shocked at their responses. This group was way more open-minded than I had expected them to be. Or maybe they were just super excited to see the movie. My next question to the backlit faces opposite me was, "Have you ever used a person for sex and then stayed friends with them afterwards? People also randomly shouted stuff at me - marriage proposals, requests for my phone number.
One thing was certain in the melee, everyone there agreed that a friendship CAN survive after you've slept together but it really depends on the circumstances and whom it was with. When quizzed, both sexes established the fact that we girls are more likely to become clingy and let our emotions get in the way. They also agreed that guys take advantage of those of us who are open to and filling a void with casual sex. The whole crowd concurred: Interestingly, when I polled the females in the room and asked which was more important - pursuing their careers or settling down - 90 percent said they were more focused on work, but agreed it was possible to "have it all.
The clique also collectively expressed that males should show their emotions more. Those in attendance with a penis all admitted they had their hearts broken at some point in their lives, which had affected their ability to commit again.
The room burst out, "Awwww! They also wanted the ladies to know that they think it's attractive when we're self-sufficient and we don't need to rely on them. If you haven't seen "No Strings Attached" on the silver screen yet, you should. Normally I hate romantic comedies but the theme of this picture struck a chord. Not to mention both Portman and Kutcher are really funny in it. Being the over-achieving alpha female that I am with no free time for intimacy, I identified with Portman's character, a busy doctor to-be in med school.
In the beginning of the flick Kutcher goes through a bad break-up and isn't looking for a hook up with hang-ups. These two end up having sex one night and the issue becomes, as best friends, can they be sex friends? You have to see it to find out what happens in the end, but they do discover establishing ground rules helps. It's easier to maintain this type of an association when both parties are on the same page so there are no hurt feelings or unmet expectations....