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But David and I did hook up that night, and quite a few times since, totally without strings, but also having a lot of fun. Thanks to smartphone apps, seeking and finding fast hot casual sex has become, much like real estate, all about location. The more sizable and interesting the nearby crowd, the better your shot at finding partners. As such, any jam-packed venue is now a prime cruising spot for app-aware people looking to get laid. This entire genre of apps has in effect turned your local dog park, museum, mall, and crowded train station into a gigantic "singles" bar though not everyone is single.
It's just so easy -- just turn on your app. And if you have traditionally been the kind of person too shy to make the first move -- no worries, as long as your app is open it is actively signaling your availability, so it won't be long before someone finds you. Unfortunately, much like a casino app in the hands of a compulsive gambler, those struggling with sexual addiction and similar sexual problems see sex finder apps as the equivalent of crack cocaine. And, as with all addictions, whether to substances or behaviors, the consequences to the active abuser can be profound.
Just after a friend introduced me to Grindr, by the end of the first week, without giving it much thought, I'd had three previously unknown sex partners over to my place. In a heartbeat Grindr became my 1 distraction from stress, tedium, and loneliness, but it also quickly replaced dating and most of my social life.
Sitting at a slow ballgame? Out of town and in a lonely hotel room? A weekend without plans? And so it went. When out to dinner with friends I would set my phone to silent so it would merely vibrate in my pocket when someone was looking to connect with me.
Before long using the app started to take over whatever free time I had. I found myself leaving the app on all the time and big surprise, my life quickly became all about the search for sex. Within three months I ended up getting fired for sneaking out of work to hook up. And just as bad, two guys I genuinely liked dating dumped me when they found me cruising Grindr while they were in the other room making dinner or on the phone.
They did the right thing, I get that. But I still haven't been able to put the thing away and stay away. Rico's story aside, sex finder apps have for most healthy people generated a reliable new source of casual romantic and sexual encounters, offering a readily available, mostly free source of brief sexual encounters and connection.
One important recommendation for anyone choosing to enter the "friend finder" world is to make sure they have genuine clarity about what it is they want. If you're devoted to finding a spouse or long-term partner, a traditional dating website is probably a much better option than Blendr. If you are in a primary relationship and looking to cheat -- apps likely are your fastest route to sex and potential relationship problems...
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Sure, they put more emphasis on sex, but for many people sex is an important factor to consider when looking for their next connection — whether it be a fling or something more serious.
Common features found on these sites are instant messaging, live video chat, and Tinder-style 'Hot or Not' galleries. From hook-ups to swingers and strap-on-sex, "adult dating" sites is an umbrella term for a variety of sites that cater to a more mature audience. Choosing a site in the adult category is actually fairly straight forward in the sense that many can be narrowed down by specific niche.
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