The girls were snorting coke in the dressing room, and the bouncers seemed more malicious and oversexed than the customers. I did not go back. I remembered a roommate I had in university who signed up as an escort through an online service.
I drove two hours to his house, white-knuckled in anticipation of what I was about to do. He was middle aged, pretty average-looking — balding, in OK shape. I don't want to seem flippant when I talk about the sex.
There was nothing special about it except for the fact that it was the first time in my young life that I was literally prostituting myself. In retrospect, my opinion of prostitution is that it is fine if you have straightened it out in your head as to why you are doing it and what you get out of it, but you are risking your safety and your health.
Can you charge a price high enough to compensate for that? And the sex was nothing I remember anything about. He left his television muted on CNN the whole time. My biggest concern was that I had very little experience and that it would show I had only had sex a couple of times in my life.
My next worry was that I would not be able to fill a full two hours with sexual entertainment. It was not that hard. Most people are easy enough to talk to, and once the sex is over it is just pillow talk and back rubs. After two months, I started scheduling dates with men and then not showing up. I was starting to get real about why I was having sex with men for money. I had been feeling rejected by a former lover, and I was angry about being in debt and was discovering that my university degree was essentially worthless.
I felt like being destructive. My last job scared me out of it for good. He was a short bald man with a big spare tyre and smelled of cigarettes. He asked if he needed to wear a condom about half of the men asked this. I put the condom on him, and then he spun me around and pushed me up against the dresser. The force of this manoeuvre was unexpected. He tried to get me to have anal sex, and I had to struggle to avoid it.
It was starting to feel more like a violation than a situation that I was in control of. It was a wake-up call, though. I have always had confidence in my physical strength and my wits to keep myself safe, but just a small taste of how quickly I might get overcome if I wasn't on my guard was what made me decide to quit. I was a year-old virgin when I first visited a prostitute. I've always been shy and a bit of a computer geek, and somehow I missed out on opportunities at school and university that might have got my sex life off to a start.
Once I graduated I ended up in an IT job, full of other single male geeks. It was only when I hit 30 that I started to worry about the other things missing from my life. At that point, my age and lack of experience were a major worry.
I was tempted by online dating, but knew that anyone I might meet would be more sexually experienced than me, and this became a major stumbling block. Websites and forums are what I do, and mostly how I interact with other people, so it didn't take me long to find forums devoted to escort work. I researched diligently, read up on the pros and cons, and the dangers, health and otherwise, of seeing escorts.
The escorts posting sounded genuine, even relatively normal, and not the junkies I'd expected. I made up my mind to go for it. It was still nearly a year before my first experience.
I chose a more mature woman, as I felt it would be easier, somehow, to confess my inexperience to her. My performance was as you might expect from a first-timer, but she was sympathetic and understanding. She didn't clock-watch, and I enjoyed her company as much as the sexual activity.
I left with a feeling of relief that I'd got it over with, that I was no longer a virgin. After that, I found other girls local to me. I've had some fantastic experiences and none of the girls have fitted the mould of trafficked eastern Europeans or drug addicts.
There was the single mum of 19, who was saving to put herself through a college course to get a professional qualification and she did, successfully, and gave up escorting to take a less-well-paid job in her chosen field.
There was the swinger, who had decided that if she was going to do it anyway, she might as well get paid for it. Overall, more of the experiences have been good than bad.
Most of the girls have been intelligent and good company and I put that down to the amount of effort I put in to selection. I'm generally very careful about who I choose; the less successful experiences have always come when I rushed a decision.
My plan was for a short-term fix, a start towards a normal life and a way of catching up with experiences I should have had 10 years ago. It's worked so well, that it's becoming a lifestyle choice. I think I prefer it this way. I met my wife as a first year in college, and we were married sometime later. I've had one relationship in my life, and while it's not boring or empty of sex, I was tempted by the ads in the back of the weekly arts paper in my town.
My first appointment was nerve-racking. Since, I've had sessions with roughly 25 different providers and had intercourse with about half. I have found few girls who "are into the work". Most aren't, and you can usually tell when you say hello.
It could be the self-destructive nature of the visit. But, I keep doing it. Sometimes I go once a week. Sometimes once a month. Very few male sex workers in Sydney still work notorious locations, such as the Wall in Sydney's Darlinghurst and a smaller number still work brothels.
A number of factors have impacted on numbers of street workers, not just technological innovations, including increased penalties in some states for activities associated with street work and the gentrification of inner-city suburbs.
The survey and other research indicates that in Australia and elsewhere, clients are a highly diverse group and hold a variety of reasons for choosing commercial sex encounters, some of which may not relate to cost or even sexual satisfaction.
A large number of escorts catering to men and women emphasise the provision of non-tactile services such as "companionship" or a "boyfriend experience", suggesting that sex is only part of the service experience and intimacy is important. Many online adverts mention romance and counselling, while personal coaching, massage therapy, travel, companionship are also referred to.
Role play and fantasy are also frequently cited activities for male and female clients. Maxime Durocher, a male sex worker who has catered to a female clientele since and is based in Montreal, Canada says: That they can't continue living as they do. It's either seeing us, having an affair, or breaking up. So, we rarely break up relationships. We are, most of the time, the glue that keeps them together. They might not want to be judged negatively, their skill found lacking.
They might want to get it over with and move on, free to select whoever they wish as a partner without pressure. Despite the changes to the sex industry, legal reform has stagnated in most of the world. Sex work is legal in about 50 per cent of international jurisdictions.
Historic concerns around sex work, grounded in the moral view that the commercialization of sex is degrading and damaging, persist, as does the notion of sex work as inherent victimization for those who sell sex. There has also been a punitive shift in last two decades in many countries, particularly where human trafficking has been conflated with sex work. Criminalisation has been inked to labour abuses, corruption and exploitation.
There is debate about whether criminalisation can reduce the incidence of sex work. Critics argue labour abuses and other exploitations are concealed in any industry forced underground by criminalisation.
It also provides opportunities for police and exploitation of sex workers by pimps or brothel managers. Criminalisation is often supported by those who see sex work as a public health menace or associate it with criminality. But sex workers may be endangered by public attitudes in the form of homophobic or misogynistic behaviour. Critics of criminalisation claim that while penalties seek to protect women from exploitation, in practice they are mostly applied to sex workers and not sex work clients.
Legalisation, which involves regulation of sex work by the state through licensing, is also not without problems. Licensing is considered to exclude undesirable elements from industry involvement, but large proportions of the industry remain unlicensed and, thus, criminalised.
In some countries this has resulted in increased police surveillance, forced health evaluations, higher taxes and financial penalties for sex workers. In licensed Australian brothels, workers are not subject to normal work entitlements and they are also subject to compulsory health examinations and controls not typical of other industries. Decriminalization has only been adopted in two jurisdictions worldwide, these being New South wales and New Zealand.
It is a policy advocated by Amnesty International as a pragmatic approach to human rights and public health. Under this approach there are no special laws for sex workers, but they are subject to the same regulations as other people and businesses, including being subject to the protections of the criminal law.
Research indicates that decriminalisation delivers better public health outcomes, improved working conditions, safety and well-being, while not increasing the volume of the sex industry. There are, however, claims that decriminalisation increases the overall volume of sex work activity and leads to more trafficking and child prostitution. There is no evidence that this has been the case in NSW, where sex work was decriminalised in It is better to frame concepts of trafficking and forced prostitution as forms of exploitation.
Exploitation is experienced by varied occupational groups, but is not exclusive to sex work. As research in Australia has shown, the experiences of sex workers and clients are diverse and any generalisation or simplistic policy calling for abolition requires caution.
Creating an open and transparent sex work industry is very likely to reduce and perhaps eliminate stigma, making it a safer environment for sex workers and clients to operate within. The full results of his survey, conducted with adjunct professor Victor Minichiello, will be published as a book chapter in Male Sex Work and Society Volume II , to be released in First posted January 04, More stories from New South Wales.
If you have inside knowledge of a topic in the news, contact the ABC. ABC teams share the story behind the story and insights into the making of digital, TV and radio content. Read about our editorial guiding principles and the enforceable standard our journalists follow. Award-winning journalist Liz Jackson turns the camera on herself to reveal her diagnosis of Parkinson's disease.
What headlines do you remember? It seems likely that as many as 11 Australians will be at the start of the Tour de France — including one of the true title favourites, Richie Porte. Men, if you want to earn big dollars and have a responsible service of alcohol certificate, G-string and bow tie, then this job may be for you.
There is a significant emerging market for women who pay for sexual services from men. App aims to make it safer for sex workers to connect with clients. Sunshine Coast brothel owner says apps slashing business by 40pc. Are dating apps like Tinder safe? Are there legitimate safety concerns about Tinder?.. If you have inside knowledge of a topic in the news, contact the ABC. As expected, the survey found twice as many male escorts had male clients only 72, as against the 32, escorts for women or couples. Demand craigslisttimate encounter escorts ladies male escorts from an exclusively female clientele is on the rise, with a quarter of Australia's male sex workers now catering to women and couples, a survey of websites in 61 countries has. Research indicates that decriminalisation delivers better public health outcomes, improved working conditions, safety and well-being, while not increasing the volume of the sex industry. It could be the self-destructive nature of the visit. But last year some friends dragged me to a strip club for the first time.