Escort listing craigs list encounters14 Sep Women aged 18–45 have sex primarily for pleasure, and love and younger girls were less likely to report love or attraction as motives In other words, a woman in her twenties might have sex because she wants to have. 19 Sep Home RELATIONSHIPS Sex 10 Things All Women Secretly Want In Bed photo 1 To Be Dominated Even if you're with a big-mouthed, bigger-balls-than-yours sort of woman who puts her independence before any other aspect in her life, trust us, she still wants you to take charge in the bedroom. At least. 12 Dec For instance, do men or women want sex more in relationships? how long they have sex for, and how long they would ideally like it to last.
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Partner pressure motives were less strongly endorsed by older than younger respondents. Cooper and colleagues [ 4 ] also found that young adults were more likely to engage in sex for intimacy-based reasons than adolescents. The present study is the first to examine sexual motivation between several distinct age groups of premenopausal adult women: The middle range 23—30 years reflects a group of women in which a small proportion will likely have been married or formed long-term sexual relationships, entered the work force, and begun to have children.
The oldest group 31—45 years captures women who we expect a majority would have been married or formed long-term committed relationships, progressed in their careers, attained some degree of financial stability, and had children. The prevalence of sexual concerns in women differ substantially by age, with women in their late teens and early twenties reporting more sexual pain and sexual anxiety, less sexual pleasure, and greater difficulty lubricating and achieving orgasm than women in their early to mids [ 6 ].
Women in their mids and 40s report more disinterest in sex than women in their late teens and early twenties [ 6 ]. By documenting whether sexual motives differ according to particular developmental periods, the present study will serve as a foundation for future exploration into the link between sexual motivation and sexual function and pleasure in women.
A cross-sectional sample of female participants aged 18 years and older were recruited nationally via online classified advertisements e.
They were informed that the survey would take between 30 and 45 minutes to complete and that they could choose not to answer any of the questions in the survey. All participants were required to read and agree to an online consent form before gaining access to the anonymous survey. The survey was hosted by Psychdata, which uses a bit encryption technology and Secure Survey Environment technology to protect the anonymity of participants and integrity of the data.
Following completion of the survey, the participants were asked to release their responses for the purposes stated in the cover letter, and a debriefing screen appeared advising the participants to contact the principal investigator if they had any concerns about the study. Each participant was given a random identification number that served as a confirmation that she had completed the survey.
Sexual motivation was assessed using the item version of the YSEX? Scale [ 1 ] see Appendix. The items fell into four factors analytically derived as primary motives pleasure, goal attainment, emotional, insecurity and 13 subfactors.
The physical reasons subfactors included stress reduction, pleasure, physical desirability, and experience seeking. The goal attainment subfactors included resources, social status, revenge, and utilitarian. The scale has been shown to be internally reliable with subfactor alpha coefficients ranging from 0. Over the 17 months that the survey was active, women initiated the online survey. Of these women, eight exited the survey without answering any items, leaving that participated in the survey to various extents.
The participants ranged from 18—66 years in age. To calculate the descriptive statistics i. For inferential analyses, we used a final sample of the participants who completed all questions in the YSEX? The participants resided in 37 states within the United States and in two Canadian provinces. The sample was composed of The majority of the sample As expected, differences emerged between the groups in terms of the percentage of women who were married, in long-term relationships, and had children.
These findings supported our belief that these age groups represent different lifestyle and relationship experiences. To verify that the factors derived from Meston and Buss [ 1 ] were applicable to older populations, we first conducted a factor analyses of the sexual motives using the combined sample of women. As seen in Table 1 , the factor structure among women aged 18—45 years was identical to that reported by Meston and Buss among to year-old men and women with the following exceptions: Factor analysis of the modified item YSEX?
Items are listed under the factor headings derived by Meston and Buss [ 1 ]. Only the highest factor loadings are reported for each item with the exception of items that loaded higher on factors different from that reported by Meston and Buss in which case, factor loadings for the factor under which they are listed are also presented in brackets.
As seen in Table 2 , the values exceeded 0. High internal consistency was also noted for subfactors in the 18—22 and 31—45 age groups. The values ranged from 0. Values indicated high internal consistency for all of the subfactors among the 23—30 age group with the exception of three of the goal attainment subfactors resources: An inspection of the data revealed that one item in each of these three subfactors had zero variability thus contributing to the lower alpha coefficients for these subfactors.
As seen in Table 2 , the coefficient alphas for both the primary factors and subfactors were surprisingly similar between those reported here among to year-old women and the sample of comparable-aged women reported by Meston and Buss [ 1 ]. Together, the almost identical results between the factor analyses conducted here and that reported by Meston and Buss, and the high coefficient alphas on all of the primary factors and on the majority of subfactors indicate that the YSEX?
Questionnaire is reliable across the age groups used in the present study. Internal consistency of the modified item YSEX?
To analyze the differences in reasons for having sex across the age groups, a multivariate analysis of variance MANOVA was run for each individual primary factor using the respective subfactors as dependent variables and the three age groups 18—22, 23—30, 31—45 as independent factors.
Only the participants with complete data sets were used for these analyses i. Post hoc tests showed that for the stress reduction and physical desirability subfactors, the 31—45 age group was significantly higher than the other two groups. For the experience seeking subfactor, the oldest group scored significantly higher than the 18—22 age group. There were no significant differences between the two younger groups Table 2.
For the resources subfactor, the 31—45 age group had a significantly higher mean than both of the two younger groups. For revenge and social status, the oldest group was only higher than the middle group. Again, there were no significant differences between the two younger groups Table 2.
For the expression subfactor, the oldest group scored significantly higher than the 18—22 age group Table 2. Within the self-esteem boost subfactor, the oldest age group scored higher than both of the younger groups. For mate guarding, the oldest group only scored higher than the 23—30 age group.
The two younger groups were not significantly different on any of the insecurity subfactors Table 3. Mean scores for all items are based on a scale of 1—5, with higher scores reflecting increased proportions of engaging in sexual activity.
For descriptive purposes, we listed the top 25 reasons why women engaged in sex separately for each of the three age groups. As seen in Table 4 , the items were remarkably similar across the age groups. Also noteworthy, 10 of the 13 items that fall under the love and commitment subfactor were listed among the top 25 reasons for having sex among 23—30 and 31—45 years, and nine of the 13 were listed among to year olds.
Three of the remaining seven items that made up the top 25 list were from the physical desirability subfactor for each age group of women, two items were from the experience seeking subfactor for 23—30 and to year olds three for the 18—22 age group , and the final remaining items were from either the expression or the stress reduction subfactors.
These reasons are from the current item modified YSEX? Questionnaire, which is based on the original item YSEX? Mean scores for all items are based on a scale of 1—5, with higher scores reflecting increased frequencies of engaging in sexual activity.
The current study examined potential differences in sexual motivation between three age groups of premenopausal women with the YSEX? Questionnaire, which was composed of four primary sexual motivation factors and 13 subfactors. A number of interesting findings emerged. First, at a subfactor level, the M of nine of the 13 subfactors showed significant differences between age groups. In all cases, women in the oldest age category 31—45 years reported higher proportions of having sex for each of the subfactor reasons than did one or both of the younger groups of women.
One obvious explanation for this finding is that older women are likely to be more sexually experienced than younger women and thus would have been exposed to sexual scenarios within a breadth of different contexts that, ipso facto, would involve more reasons for engaging or not engaging in sex.
However, given that the YSEX? Questionnaire does not specifically ask the frequency of how often women engage in sex but, rather, the proportion of their total sexual experiences for which each reason accounts, a greater number of sexual experiences can not fully explain these findings. Instead, the fact that older versus younger women reported that more of the reasons for having sex represented many or all of their sexual experiences suggests that when the older women engaged in sexual acts, their underlying sexual motivations may be relatively greater in quantity.
In other words, a woman in her twenties might have sex because she wants to have an orgasm, whereas a woman in her early forties may have sex to achieve orgasm, express her love, and to celebrate a special occasion, for example. It is worth noting the four subfactors that did not show age-related changes: At an item level, it is interesting to note that for all women, the top two reasons for having sex related to pleasure, and 18 of the top 25 reasons pertained to either sexual pleasure or love and commitment.
That love and commitment are primary motives for women having sex has been well documented in the literature [ 11 , 12 ] and is central to many evolutionary-based theories [ 13 ].
By contrast, having sex purely for pleasure is something that past research has commonly discussed as a significant motivator for men but not women [ 11 — 13 ]. This suggests that although older women tend to have more reasons for engaging in sex, the primary reasons for doing so differ little with age among premenopausal adult women. Within the lowest ranked goal attainment factor, the subfactors resources and social status were endorsed as representing the smallest proportions of sexual motivators for women of all age groups.
If one looks at the items constituting these subscales, the fact that they represent a small proportion of sexual events is not surprising. That said, it is important to keep in mind that although the items constituting these subfactors were endorsed at a low base rate, the nature of some of these items could lead to deleterious or unjust consequences.
Thus, although these subfactors ranked lowest of all the sexual motivators endorsed by women in our study, they should not be considered unimportant. In the present study, we replicated the factor structure reported by Meston and Buss [ 1 ] and noted comparably high reliability coefficients for both the primary factors and subfactors.
With factor validation being extended to a wider age range of women, we propose that the item version of the YSEX? Questionnaire may be useful for clinicians treating premenopausal women with sexual dysfunctions, particularly Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, which is innately linked to a motivation to have or not have sex.
At an item level, the questionnaire could serve as a useful qualitative tool to help facilitate a dialog between treatment providers and female patients with self-reported sexual complaints. That is, clinicians may acquire a better understanding of the reasons and associated affect of why women have sex, or the underlying functions served by sexual activity, which may be a critical first step toward understanding and altering problematic sexual patterns.
A strength of the current study was the use of a geographically diverse North American sample that was diverse with regard to age, socioeconomic status SES , and sexual orientation. Several study limitations also warrant mention. First, the number of stable traits that are known to be related to sexual decision making was not assessed, and these variables may have differed between age groups.
These include personality factors such as perfectionism [ 14 ] and sensation seeking, religiosity [ 15 ], and sexual liberalism [ 16 ]. Second, health factors and levels of sexual function in either, or both, the women or her partner may also have differed between age groups and consequently moderated some of the study findings.
Also worth noting is the fact that both the original compilation of reasons for engaging in sex, and the documentation reported both here and by Meston and Buss [ 1 ] of the frequencies and proportion of sexual activity the motives represent were conducted solely on North American women. It has also been reported that the Internet population may have skewed demographic attributes e. The results of the present investigation indicate that women aged 31—45 years have more motives for engaging in sexual intercourse compared with women aged 18—30 years, but the primary reasons for engaging in sex do not differ within this former age range.
The current investigation serves as a starting point for future studies on sexual motivation in women. Needed now are studies comparing sexual motives between premenopausal and postmenopausal women, and between sexually functional and dysfunctional women.
With regard to the latter, information on motives for engaging in sex that differ between, for example, women with and without sexual desire concerns could have both diagnostic and treatment implications. Of great value would be longitudinal research that monitors changes in sexual motivations as women age and pass through important life markers such as marriage, childbirth, and menopause.
Respondents indicate on a 5-point Likert scale the proportion that each of the items reflects their total sexual experiences.
Scale anchors are 1 None of my sexual experiences, 2 A few of my sexual experiences, 3 Some of my sexual experiences, 4 Many of my sexual experiences, 5 All of my sexual experiences. Subfactor scores are computed by adding the scores of the individual items that comprise the subfactor. Factor scores are computed by adding the scores of the items that comprise each of the subfactors under that specific factor.
National Center for Biotechnology Information , U. Author manuscript; available in PMC Nov The publisher's final edited version of this article is available at J Sex Med. This article has been corrected.
See J Sex Med. Aim This study aimed to examine potential differences in sexual motivation between three distinct age groups of premenopausal women. Results Women aged 31—45 years reported a higher proportion of engaging in sex compared with one or both of the younger age groups of women for nine of the 13 YSEX?
Conclusion Women aged 31—45 have more motives for engaging in sex than do women aged 18—30, but the primary reasons for engaging in sex do not differ within this age range.
Introduction Recently, Meston and Buss [ 1 ] published a study that identified distinct reasons for why men and women engage in sexual intercourse.
Method Study Population, Subject Recruitment, and Data Collection A cross-sectional sample of female participants aged 18 years and older were recruited nationally via online classified advertisements e. Results Participant Characteristics Over the 17 months that the survey was active, women initiated the online survey. Factor Reliability Analyses To verify that the factors derived from Meston and Buss [ 1 ] were applicable to older populations, we first conducted a factor analyses of the sexual motives using the combined sample of women.
Item description Physical Goal attainment Emotional Insecurity 34 I wanted to experiment with new experiences. Open in a separate window. Questionnaire as reported in Meston and Buss [ 1 ]. Analyses of Age Differences in Sexual Motivation To analyze the differences in reasons for having sex across the age groups, a multivariate analysis of variance MANOVA was run for each individual primary factor using the respective subfactors as dependent variables and the three age groups 18—22, 23—30, 31—45 as independent factors.
Table 3 item YSEX? Item Level Analyses For descriptive purposes, we listed the top 25 reasons why women engaged in sex separately for each of the three age groups. Table 4 Top 25 reasons why women have sex stratified by age group. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure. I wanted to show my affection to the person. I wanted to express my love for the person. I desired emotional closeness i. I wanted to achieve an orgasm. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
I realized I was in love. I wanted the pure pleasure. It is exciting, adventurous. I wanted to increase the emotional bond. The person had an attractive face. It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship.
I wanted the experience. I wanted to intensify my relationship. The person had a desirable body. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions. The opportunity presented itself. I wanted to celebrate a special occasion. How does this make you feel? It isn't an idle question; if we want to find a potential solution, it's important to really interrogate your feelings and get to the core of what is bothering you. Do you worry that you're not enough for her and feel like this is a failing on your part?
Do you worry that, in sleeping with someone else, she may decide she likes them more and leave you? Or that she may be a lesbian, rather than bisexual? You don't want a polyamorous relationship , which is perfectly legitimate.
But what about one where she's allowed to date and sleep with women as long as it's just sex? Why would breaking up with her be more acceptable than giving her a certain amount of freedom?
Do you fear that, if she were to date someone else, you'd end up being a secondary figure in her life? Would the clean break now be easier because you feel that you could compartmentalise those feelings away?
On the other side of things: Would knowing your girlfriend is feeling happy and fulfilled make you happy? Would you be able to take pleasure in knowing that your girlfriend is feeling better, even with another lover - something that the poly community calls "compersion"?
There really aren't any wrong answers here; you feel how you feel. Don't worry if the way you feel is possessive or that this brings out ugly emotions. Feelings are primal things, after all. Even "I worry I wouldn't be as special to her" is completely understandable. Feelings in and of themselves aren't bad things; it's how we act on them that makes things good or bad. I ask you to really dig in and question how you feel because the more you understand how this makes you feel, the more you'll be able to talk this out with your girlfriend.
One of the best ways to deal with jealousy is to talk it out with your partner. And being able to talk about this with you — openly, honestly, without fear of judgement — is going to help her to feel empowered to open up to you about how she feels.
By being open and honest with each other — not just about your desires but about what you are afraid of — you can work together to try to find a path that helps her without damaging your bond or causing unnecessary pain. Right now, ya'll are in a no-win situation.
A major reason why she's clammed up about things is that in all likelihood, she's afraid to bring things up for fear of hurting you. You , on the other hand, are finding the ambiguity of the situation intolerable. So start with a long, open talk.
Get your feelings out in the open in a productive manner. Focus on the "I feel" statements - "I feel that…" "I worry that…" which will let you express how you feel without putting the responsibility for those feelings on one another. The more that you two feel as though you can talk about this, the more you'll be able to start finding options, whether it's a sexually open relationship, time apart or breaking up.
Regardless of what options you take, I've got some homework for you. It may well be worth your time to read More Than Two: Even if you choose not to try some form of non-monogamy which, again, is decidedly not for everyone , these books can help give you the tools and vocabulary to try to find a path to happiness for the both of you. You're in a tough spot, man. I hope you can find a way through it that works. Good luck, and write back let us know how things are going. I have been in a long distance relationship with a girl for around 2 and a half years, we met in the USA while I was working out there and then moved back to the UK.
We met and it was an instant connection and we hit it off from the get go. We decided we wanted to give it a go long distance, neither of us had done it before but we were just so happy with each other. We have been seeing each other quite regularly, we as regular as you can with the distance between us, each time was great and we would explore each other's cities together and even though they were only usually 10 day trips they were amazing.
A few months ago though we took a big step, she decided to use the full amount of time she could on a visa over here and stayed for 9 weeks! We were both excited and worried about how this time together would affect our relationship as this was again a first for both of us. Things started out really well, I would go to work and come home to her about her adventures and what she had seen and done and then we would make the most of the opportunities to have actual dates rather than skype dates!
Nearer the end of the trip though things started to take a turn. She said she was feeling lonely with me going to work everyday and her not really knowing a whole lot of people over here so she felt very isolated and homesick, with regular calls and texts to friends and family back home.
She was spending an increasing amount of time on her phone and starting to reject any ideas I had to go out or any form of physical contact I was trying to show her. So I got a bit suspicious and eventually found out, via looking at her open phone that she had been having conversations with a few of her friends about when she gets back hooking up with them and having conversations with them that really only me and her should have conversations about.
I was so distraught and I confronted her about it and she said she had lost her trust in me as I had gone into her phone and snooped but only now since she has gone back to the USA has she apologised for what she did. We broke up but are still talking and are both harbouring the idea of getting back together, but I don't know if I can trust her with what I have now seen, it is making me very paranoid.
She said she would never do anything and that she loves me and wants me back! It's going to be a big tangled mess. As tempting as it is to make it a black and white thing — I mean come on, she was openly planning on hooking up with some other dudes — there're a lot of factors that have led to your current situation.
Digging into it is going to have a lot of influence on what you decide to do next. Let's start prying things apart bit by bit. We'll start with the big one: No small part of the answer is: The isolation and homesickness you mentioned?
Those can be relationship killers. It's one thing to come for an extended vacation; a week and a half is pretty intense, but it's limited. You have the excitement of seeing your snugglebunny after so long apart, and that can carry you through times when they have to work and you're left to your own devices for the better part of the day.
For a 10 days, it's easier to play tourist to keep yourself occupied. It's a metric fuck-ton harder to do that when you're there for nearly three months. For a week and a half, you can grit your teeth through the hard parts because you know that you'll be going home soon. Three months gives you a lot of hours to fill and very little to fill them with. She had no social circle in the UK, either to occupy her time or to get emotional support when she's feeling bored or lonely.
And considering how a visitor visa drastically limits what you can do with your time She's functionally dependent on you in a lot of ways. That's a great way to build up resentment, and resentment is one of the things that will poison a relationship.
Needless to say, two months of this is going to leave a lot of people in a very "don't fucking touch me" kind of mood. So in all likelihood, a lot of those steamy conversations and plans to hook up when she got home were as much her deciding to slam her fist down on the "Relationship Self Destruct" button as they were her being a lying, cheating arsehole.
Not that she wasn't that, too. And blowing up on you for snooping? Part and parcel of it all. However, it also gives casus belli for someone looking for a reason to break up.
But let's be real: That's a shitty thing to do, and if you hadn't found what you found, it would be especially dickish. Now she's home again and she's feeling regretful. This is not terribly surprising, all things considered.
Her behaviour was based on her circumstances — she was isolated and lonely. Now that she's back in her comfort zone, she's realising that she blew things up and wants to try to fix things. Which brings us to the big question: I don't believe that cheating or the threat of cheating is necessarily a relationship extinction event, nor that not all infidelities are equal.
Sometimes it's a case of someone being an arsehole; other times it's a combination of circumstance and weakness and there but for the grace of God go the rest of us. Relationships can get past infidelities , if everybody is willing to and able to put the work in. But that's a pretty big if. So right now, you have some questions to ask. Was it because of that perfect storm of circumstances that is unlikely to happen again, or is this behaviour something that she'll fall back to when she's upset enough?
Assuming that you decide that you are willing to forgive her: What will it take for you to feel comfortable trusting her again without reserve?
Can you forgive and let things go? If you do decide to take her back, you may need to reconsider the nature of your relationship or where it's going to go. Long distance relationships are hard enough without an end to the distance in sight. You've seen the difficulties inherent in to your relationship from both sides of the Atlantic. That will have to be something you both think about when the time comes to decide if this relationship is going to be more than just long-distance.
Have you had a partner come out to you while you were dating? Did your relationship survive cheating? Have you managed to make a long-distance relationship work? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments. We'll be back with more of your questions in two weeks. Harris O'Malley is a writer and dating coach who provides geek dating advice at his blog Paging Dr.
NerdLove and the Dr. Just let your girlfriend experiment, better her do it now and have your support than to go behind your back at some stage. Support her in discovering herself. I have known girls who are physically attracted to girls but don't enjoy sex with them. Maybe being bi myself I don't really understand how a straight male would react to his gf wanting to experiment with girls, or handle the situation if she wanted an ongoing relationship with you and a female. In my opinion, if my wife were bi and wanted to sleep with other women it wouldn't be any different than her wanting to sleep with other men.
I don't see being bi as inherently different, and her desiring to sleep with women as different than desiring to sleep with other men. And in the end, I just wouldn't be comfortable with my wife sleeping with other people. Loyalty in an already established and mutually accepted monogamous relationship is more important than any sexual curiosity. Why get such a wide pass only because she'd be a woman too? Only because she "needs to know"? At that point what does it matter what you are! You are committed to a person so it doesn't matter whether unbeknown to you, you are a pansexual lesbian transman or whatever.
Or if you think it does, then it means that you don't actually love your partner as much as you think. Otherwise, what does anything mean? His GF could just as well say, "um, I've been thinking that I might be into much taller guys than you, who are also rich, and I need to know whether that's what my mind and body needs. Real love is all about choice and accepting the meaning of those choices. I, from time to time, may find myself thinking "man, I wonder how it'd be to have sex with this or that type of girl, so different to my partner," but the following thought is always "oh well, I guess I'll never know.
So I met this girl in middle school.