Of course, that depends. But as my friends and I discovered at fifteen, it seems to depend on a lot more things for women than for men. In order to make desire conscious, a host of factors must be met simultaneously. This makes a certain intuitive sense. The same goes, I'm sure, for casual sex. Do women like it? I'm sure many do, or would. But do they want it? That surely depends on many things. As I argued in Mass Erotic Choice , it's to some extent influenced by what their friends are doing.
Is the current "hookup culture" good for women? Is it good for sex? The best sex, like the most orgasmic sex, usually happens with a partner whom one knows well. Is a hookup ordinarily the best way for a young person to spend a Saturday night? Again, I doubt it. But I guess it might depend on what the alternatives are.
Psychology Today loves to study what they call "hook-ups" and their effect on women. Because Psychology Today is a patriarchal entity that likes to push marriage and relationships, the conclusion of every Psychology Today blogger will always be that short term sexual relationships are very bad for women.
But women keep having short term sexual relationships, so if it was so bad then why do women keep doing it? Do all women everywhere suffer from debilitating low self-esteem which results in this PT-labeled bad behavior? Or is there more to the story. But let's put all this aside for the moment. Is the purpose of sex only to achieve orgasm? I'd say absolutely not. Sex often comes with a component of intimacy, discussion, vulnerability and connection. Short term sex will almost always have these components, and most people benefit from all of them.
This is why people probably have short term sexual encounters. Before, during and after sex, sex partners get to create a temporary connection that may make them feel friendly, sexy and human. On another note, no writer on Psychology Today has ever been concerned about whether short-term sexual relationships are bad for men. Apparently, short term sexual relationships with men are an approved activity. However, the math doesn't work out. IFf hook-ups are bad for women yet good for men and everybody listened to Psychology Today, then there would be a gross partner imbalance.
Nobody calls out men who have hook-ups by telling them that nobody will want to marry the town bike, they must have had terrible childhoods or that they have low self-esteem. So why do these get laid on women? Here's my 2c worth:. Women have probably always enjoyed casual sex. But pre-Pill, there was the risk of getting pregnant.
Then the pill came along and were women allowed to enjoy hook-ups? Of course not, there was societal disapproval, the risk of getting a 'reputation'. Then came AIDS so again, women, back in your box. Now with the advent of the internet and hook-ups being so easy and not quite so stigmatised as previously, how are we going to fix those uppity women? Why, 'studies have proven XXX' of course! Why focus your attention on hookup-specific apps? The good news is we already did the dirty research for you.
From the internationally acclaimed FriendFinderX to AdultFriendFinder, the names might speak for themselves, but your experience with their matches will take your satisfaction to a whole new level.
Here, a comprehensive, no-BS guide to ensuring your stress is low and your spirits high:. FriendFinder-X is a hookup site that boasts millions of users around the world. No doubt about it, FF-X is focused on sex, boasting to users about its ability to get them "casual encounters" and "secret affairs" as well as featuring a live chat feature if you're just looking to sext, not meet up.
Considering the focus on sex and not dating, you can be sure fellow members are also there more for casual hookups than for the type of thing where you meet each other's parents and so forth. Another great option if you're simply looking for a hookup partner is XMatch.
If you're looking for someone with a specific kink or turn-on AdultFriendFinder is a great option. Allowing users to broadcast their sexual preferences, it's easy to search for and be found by the right people on AFF, which loops in dating site all across the Friend Finder network -- meaning you've got millions of potential hookups to discover.
Keep in mind that this list is just hookup sites -- for guys who want to hook up and not settle down. If you're looking for something a little more serious, however, you should consider a site geared more towards finding a relationship -- like Zoosk , for instance. Zoosk has been one of the biggest names in online dating for years now, and it's a great option if you'd prefer a bit more substance to your online dating pursuits..