I've never been into a strip club, for related reasons: I'd likely end up talking the ladies into attending night school, or walking my dog for a nominal fee. Yes, I write this from my middle-class pedestal. I've never fallen on life-threatening hard times, but I know this: Women, every single one of them, are worth more than their bodies. In an ideal world, everyone would see that. But clearly, I'm a newbie in this world. In the interest of exploring all sides of the debate, I tracked down a friend-of-a-Facebook-friend who agreed to talk to me about his experience with prostitutes — or "prosties" as he called them — and why he frequents a Toronto brothel.
Tim, a divorced year-old from Mississauga who hasn't had free sex in over six months, met me at a pub. I was shocked at how easy it was to find someone with personal experience and didn't know exactly what to ask. Thankfully, he wanted to share. He admits that "regular sex" would be a better option, but says it's difficult to meet people in his circles.
Still, "doing it with someone I see a lot … that'd be better I guess. He tells me about his lost love, his ex-wife. His eyes light up when he talks about their honeymoon heat — but they darken again when the conversation turns. He starts ranting about one lady in particular at the "house" he frequents. His emotional attachment to her is clear "she's pretty and really sweet, you'd like her, I swear" and he genuinely thinks she cares about him.
What about your safety? Tim's response is quick, and blunt: He uses protection, but admits, "when I get to that point and I'm there, I'm not worried about safety. When Tim and I part ways, I walk home, confident in my original advice, but saddened for those who can't avoid prostitution.
The decision to pay someone for sex not only diminishes the act, I think to myself, but devalues both parties involved.
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African and Mideast Business. ETFs Up and Down. Letters to the Editor. The Real Estate Market. Quick links Horoscopes Puzzles Customer service My account. Article text size A. I think if we were to legalize prostitution in America, even more men would use the services of sex workers. This would cause men to totally eschew, in large numbers, long term relationships and marriage.
Because, probably the minimal sex they actually get and the quality in these relationships would not justify entering them. So, this would leave an even greater number of women having to finally consider marrying the bad boys they want to have sex with anyway.
Does this happen in other countries where prostitution is legal? I have no idea. It is a purely speculative scenario. All I do know is that sex is very dysfunctional in America for whatever reason. As for just putting a rubber on to have sex with a prostitute, how does that change just what she is: What about the ones who give bjs without condoms and have the guy cum in her mouth?
Do you think I want to kiss her? You talk about how sex is dysfunctional in America. Stop using shaming derogatory words used specifically against women and maybe will be give a chance to feel more free to express their sexuality without condemnation. Erin… Sorry to offend.
I do not believe most men and women would not use this word to shame a prostitute. Yes, I know the word is used to shame women who are not sex workers. Hence, I used it in the context of sex workers. Nevertheless, my apologies for offending you. I am not in the business of degrading women. How many women have given you blow jobs, just to goose the gander here? My ex wife did not do oral sex. But, I knew this before I married her.
So, no big deal. Plus, I love intercourse. Getting BJs are really not my thing. Is there a difference between intercourse and bjs? Is it the condom thing you are reacting to?
If a person tests clean for STDs and was respectful to their partners… what is the difference to you between giving or getting four and 50? This seems regressive to me. They are two different sex acts.
I am at a loss for that question. Not how many bjs. Again, I have no desire to be with 50 women. Just as I have no desire to be with a woman who has been with 50 men. It about the number of partners. Well, there is some medical evidence that have lots of sex with lots of different partners does make the vagina loose and certain muscles stretched. Also, there is just this whole ideal of being out in public and running into an assortment of men who have slept with your wife. Jules, that is a myth.
If this were true, then married women should avoid having sex in order to keep their vaginas tight. What a horrible and offensive comment. If they are so gross, why on earth have sex with them. Jullie Gillis… First, let me apologize to you as well for finding my comments offensive.
They were not intended to be offensive. Second, I am not a proponent of prostitution. However, maybe the time has come to considered legalizing it to address some of the sexual dysfunction issues. I have never engaged a prostitute. I just find the two things rather degrading to women. I am not Mr. Because you are a human being capable of empathy. Because to do otherwise means selling out what I believe is my humanity.
No one cares about men. I have never paid for sex or for any sort of attention, but this is something that I would definitely consider. The problem is availability… I have a full schedule, and most men I date have one too. People do not even make time for the simple pleasures of life anymore.
No wonder we have so much social dysfunction in this country. A co-worker of mine feels much the same way. She only dates men on the weekends, and that works for her.
They enjoy eachothers company and attention on the weekends that they can make time, but during the week, their focus is work and family. People have to think outside the status quo these days. Creative new ways to make relationships work. Let us not kid ourselves on this point. If you do not desire a relationship, I can full well understand that fact.
So, I use FWB arrangements for sex. I will readily admit, in the name of full disclosure, I am not a proponent of prostitution. Thanks for the suggestion! This has nothing to do with men. Yes, I think GMP is trying to recruit young men into the prostitution business. You totally found them out! Here is a woman that pays a man for an escorting service.
Do we really need to hear another story from a female escort? But this offers something unique. I thought this site was about men. What does this have to do with men? And while men do interact with women regularly…. That chance was unfortunately missed in the interview, it would seem.
Also, it clearly demonstrates that the idea that sex is an emotional experience for women is a complete farce. All the guy need be to some women is attractive, can get it up and keep it up , and safe. The emotional stuff is reserved for men like I was once: Could have sworn this was off some escort review board somewhere and written by one of the more eloquent pooners.
But, to each his, or her, own, I guess. A man who is faking interest in me and being paid for his services, who has no real attraction for me, probably fueled by Viagra, touching me and to be blunt putting his penis in me. It makes me feel nauseated to think about it! Is the one night stand guy really interested in the woman or the sex?
Otherwise it seems humiliating! A guy who can escort would have slept with you anyways if you asked him to at a bar.
And he wants the money either way. The Wet One,… Great. But, it was not about you. It was about her. It was all about the sex. Only a few men would not like to screw beautiful women and get paid for it, myself included.
I am not a fan of prostitution. I cannot fathom the idea of having sex with a woman who has screwed hundreds of men, regardless of how she looks.. Just disgusting in my mind. I think that you misunderstood me. I was the one who was paying. Do you think the female escorts are really attracted to the men they are having sex with? Or do you think they are pretending to be as professional as possible?
Or because they enjoy the variety of sex with a variety of men? It just cannot be the money that makes them pretend? I chose to take her at her word. This rationalization that the interviewee …? Because sometimes you have neither the time, the skill or the interest in making it as good in a non-paying relationship.
You want sex, easy good sex right now. And you have the money to pay. The Wet One… I am not disputing this aspect of it. Because women are all about men who are sloppy and ignore their needs and are selfish lovers. That makes complete economic sense. I mean, why go for free, when you can get the same lousy product with a pricetag? When it comes to sex for a lot of women not all , all she need is to find him attractive and safe. He can be a thug, a jerk, unemployed……a lot of women just do not care.
She only wants sex! Hell, she may not even want to see him again! Most men will have an orgasm if they have a partner they find attractive who is willing to do it with them.
Only a quarter of women can often have orgasms during intercourse, many never have an orgasm from intercourse alone. Different women need different types of stimulation to get off. There is no guarantee the man at the bar will be interested in learning how, or be able to do it the first time. But you have cash. Problem somewhat fixed and a joyful time was had. I have spent years single and have been rejected by men before.
Sure, I was lonely and wanted affection but paying for fake affection would feel dishonest and disrespectful to myself. It would not make me happier. I can use a little self control and hold out when I need to until I actually find that person that does really like me.
I try to live my life authentically. Paying for affection would go against that authenticity for me. In other words, you want strings attached. But for those who do want no strings attached, the escort experienced described here does sound ideal. First Name Last Name. Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free. Love to read your post and thanks for sharing this great article.
Can you please get me a job as a male escort? Social Media Enables…Finding an Escort mononewsblog. Hats off to whatever woman is comfortable with allowing another woman in bed with her man. Wow, broad unfounded stereot-yping is easy. No wonder so many resort to it. Amy, You are just plain wrong. Hence, I must beg to differ. I dunno, maybe that would be better.
I used to live in New Orleans, the city gets tourists constantly. We originally planned to go to a famous bar before actually fucking, but she had me meet her at her AirBnB first. Ended up not bothering with the drinks and hopped into bed.
After we had finished, I made a joke about how if she missed her flight the next day, just text me and she could stay at my apartment and do this all over again. I never expected to hear a word from her.
Sure enough, I get a message at work the next afternoon, saying her flight was cancelled due to some mechanical issue. She asked if my offer still stood. I drove to the airport, picked her up, and went back to my place. Second round was even better than the first because we already had an idea of how the other liked it. We eventually fall asleep, I drive her to the airport the next day and she gets on her new flight and leaves. I know right - I feel cheated by this story.
Not even a shit pun about a "nightstand" to sooth my rage. I told her I couldn't remember her name. She looked me in the eye and asked, "does it really matter? I was living with my long ish term girlfriend and she broke up with me. He was a drinker. When I moved in, we started going through 30 beers a night and half a handle of cheap whiskey. I ended up going out to this pool hall where they had karaoke night and I met a rando girl Liz that was kinda chubby, but cute, so we hung out all night.
She invites me to her place and when I drunkenly agree, she has to red flag 1 get her mom to give us a ride. So, her mom gives us a ride to her place and also gets out and comes upstairs. With a hitter mustache, while she gives him his baby for visitation. I said "no I have a meeting downtown" and she said "oh that's okay that's on the way to my kids preschool" ahhhhhhh! All this starts with a night of myself and my 2 roommates playing cards in college.
As your typical college sophomore student goes, I was a bottle of rum down. The only thing after that I remember was her noise This is my best impression over text that I can do:. Imagine someone that has nasal passages blocked, Kermit the frog living in their throat, and getting their ass pounded into nonexistence.
Just that, nothing else. It was awful, and finally we finished and I passed out. So the next morning. I wake up, have one look at her and holy crap, not trying to be mean, nor am I even close to a 10 but this girl was just not attractive I had work in an hour. I return 10 hours later. Which made the next part awful. She left crying of course, and I did feel bad She had made me dinner.
As starving college kids do, we decided to bust out the paper plates and forks and eat it. My roommate turns to me and says: However for some reason, she came up to me in a week and offered to buy Chick-fil-A.
I stepped into a bar in HCMC Vietnam and almost ran into a pretty looking American girl, who was busy dancing as part of a group. The rest of the group was male. She kinda grabbed me as soon as I read into her and pulled me into a dance, so I went with it. I'm a pretty shit dancer, but I tried gamely for a minute, then excused myself to go to the bar, promising to come back.
At this point it's about 4 am and I had gone back to this bar to look for my lost phone, which they don't have. Fuck it, buy a drink, go back, dance a little more, too loud to talk, let's step outside?
The group comes with. Turns out the whole group are English teachers. The guys refer to themselves as the girls name appreciation club, I manage to keep a straight face. Talk a little more, back to save a little more, it's so late, want to come back with me? She does, we briefly say goodbye and leave. At this point the story would already be my top, because the look on those guys faces was just priceless.
I mean, the one that had named their 'club' looked like he'd just chugged straight lemon juice. I almost felt bad, but mostly I just felt like a movie level badass. Anyway, we head out, go back to my hostel and start going at it in my private bunkroom. And it is just Dead starfish, no chemistry, condoms suck anyway the alcohol doesn't help, and she's giving me nothing.
I'm about to give in, let things go soft and claim I came, but instead I just blurt out: Now, while I'm currently admittedly kinky, at that point I still thought it was a bit weird and hadn't done very much of that sort of stuff. I don't recall exactly how it went down, but this question sparks something for the first time since we got naked; suddenly she's right there with me. Dirty talk ensues, plus some face slapping and light choking. Everything suddenly up to ten.
I get her to where she seems to have made it, which is where I really get my jollies. Now I'm about to finish.
I'm telling her how I'm going to fill this condom and make her swallow every drop of cum out of it. I'm not serious, but she loves it, like, really loves it And as I finish, I decide fuck it, we're doing this. I finish, make eye contact and tell her to hold still. Pull out, unwrap, slowly and deliberately, then hold the full condom where she can see it. I tell her to open her mouth, she does. No sign of fear or backing off in her eyes, and believe me, I'm looking.
So I slowly tip it over, and slowly pour every drop of cum into her mouth. Then squeeze out whatever's left. I lower the condom, tell her to swallow she does, never breaking eye contact. A few moments go by.
I break serious mode and I'm just like damn, that was crazy, have you done stuff like this before? She hasn't, neither had I. We cuddle, talk a bit about how it was good and crazy, fall asleep she leaves in the morning, and that's all there is. Hold up, you got married to each other with a fifteen year gap after a one night stand? That's the real story here. I read the line "on a Delta flight from Atlanta to LA? He found me in Facebook a few days later and I added him back.
Turns out he's a pretty serious flat earther We talked pretty much every day, he seemed sweet. One night I went to the local pub with a few friends, got really drunk and decided it would be a really great idea to go visit this guy for sex. I called a taxi. I got to his house, I must have smelt of piss and I must have looked a complete mess. Next morning, I looked at my email taxi receipt. I saw someone getting beat in the alley near my apartment so I threw my nightstand out the window like the toilet scene in Boondock Saints.
Knocked the fucker out. The victim turned and fucking booked it. I picked up that same night stand in that alley, took it home, stripped it, and have used it every night since. Imagine being the victim there. All hope is lost as the pain keeps coming. Suddenly, like a wooden Batman, a fucking night stand drops out of the sky and takes the attacker out. For a second I thought the woman you saved had sex with you for saving her, then I realized I'm a fool.
I hooked up with a friend kind of, more of a close acquaintance right after separating from my ex-husband. I was thrilled with this hook up as it had been awhile and this guy was out of my league, like a 10 to my 5 kind of situation. I'm well aware of this, so I'm trying to play it cool.
I mean, I want to be at least fun, cool, and show him a good time, maybe I can work my way into another round if this goes well. I don't want a relationship, but if round 2 is an option, I'm going to strive for it. We go to his townhouse apartment yes, the townhouse detail is important , have an hour or two of fun, and I'm about to go on my merry way.
It went well, amazingly fantastically well, and I am definitely going to try for a round 2 so I gotta keep my exit super smooth. So he says goodnight to me, I say I'll show myself out, and he just asks if I care to flip the lock on the front door as I leave. I leave his room, and begin to make my way down the stairs of this apartment.
The front door is directly at the bottom of these stairs, I'm quietly leaving while doing a victory dance in my head, and as I get to the last 3 steps, I fall. I tumble down the remaining steps and plant my forehead directly into the front door with a nice thump. I get up, bewildered and embarrassed and decide to just keep going. He's already asleep, he didn't hear that. I'm going to walk out that door, click the lock, and leave and he'll never be the wiser. I collect myself and go to open the front door and suddenly I hear him call down from his bedroom, laughter in his voice, "I heard that!
This is how I tell this story, because I'm keenly aware of my own embarrassment. I've always wondered how he tells that story cause if a chick fell down my stairs after I fucked her, I'd sure as hell tell that story with some flair.
When I asked what that was about she said we were dating now and that her sister was going to drop her stuff off. That one was definitely the worst. Are you sure the roomate said "Nice.
Punctuation and spelling is hard to hear. Moreso a hookup than a one night stand. Matched with this girl on Tinder. She had mentioned to me she was a virgin and wasn't looking for a hookup, which I was honestly fine with. I had gotten out of a 3 year relationship and was just dating around, so I told I respect her decision and we should just have a good time. Went to dinner, drank a bit, and went back to her dorm room where I put her onto Scrubs because who doesn't love that show?!
Not even finishing the first episode, one thing leads to another and we're making out. At this point, she continues to tell me she never received oral before. I actually love going down on a girl, so I said so, but I let her know several times that if she doesn't feel comfortable, I won't do anything and I'll leave if she wants.
Said she's fine, so I make her cum. When I'm done, the first thing she tells me is to "grab a condom. After having embarrassing myself and her laughing hysterically, we both decided it wasn't a good idea and just continued drinking and I eventually go home.
She made it very difficult, but I didn't want her to do anything she would regret and I didn't want to take advantage of her. We kept texting and she wanted me to come back. After work one day, I went to her dorm room and proceeded to "fuck her brains out" her words, not mine. We kept texting for a few more days before she stopped texting me and blocked me on every social media.
To this day, I have no idea what happened. Maybe she felt guilty for losing her virginity? Maybe she found a guy that she wanted to date more? I'll never get to know Went on vacation with my parents and 2 brothers to the Bahamas.
I swallowed some salt water snorkeling and it made me sick as hell so I went to bed early the second to last night. As I'm laying in bed out of boredom I pick up my Bumble app, I swipe right on like 2 girls and think to myself what am I doing. Put the phone down and 2 minutes later I get a message. This girl is stunning, a legit 9 all day. Asks me if I want to meet up for a drink, I decline as I'm literally sick to my stomach but said I would text her in the morning and see if she was still down.
The next evening my older brother and I go out, have too many beers and he passes out. I walk him to his room and text her. She is out and ditched by her friend for whatever reason. I walk down to the bar, she is there alone waiting for me as these 2 guys are hitting on her.
She is better looking than her pictures. We have one drink, start making out at the bar and make our way back to my hotel which happened to be hers as well. We had amazing sex, twice, then got into the hot tub in my room and continued to have sex.
Passed out for maybe 2 hours, woke up, had sex one more time and 5 minutes later I got dressed and we left my room and I caught a plane home. We are actually still Facebook friends. That was a great night, think about it once in a while and it puts a smile on my face.
I was 31 when this happened. Parents wanted to take their grown kids on a vacation instead of doing a traditional Christmas last year. Now when you say have sex do you mean to say that each time you had sex you came? Because if so Holy shit I want your revival skillz. College freshman starting talking to an older lady mid-late 40s at least and she came over to my dorm and picked me up. She drove to a Red Lobster parking lot and proceeded to give me head. That was my first time doing that and it was an amazing experience.
I probably came pretty quickly. The next time we went behind an abandoned strip mall nearby and we had sex in the passenger seat of the car. I kinda miss those days as sad as it is to say. Went to this girl's college dorm because her roomate was away for the weekend. We drank a couple 22's of something shitty I'm sure , and started making out. She ended up giving me a blowjob, and it was clear she didn't have much experience.
After maybe 10 minutes, she says "Did that get ya? I hadn't cum yet, and I don't know what she was expecting, but at that point it was so bad anyway I just replied "yup! Nothing else happened between her and I, and I found out later on Myspace that she was now a lesbian.
To this day I still have questions. Did I turn her gay? Was I an experiment to see if she liked dick at all? The world may never know. It was a beautiful Chicago summer. What I do remember is waking up in this girls Studio apartment, I had a cat on my chest. Selina Kyle wannabe is still sleeping so I figure to do the polite thing and get the hell out of doge. If only it was that easy…The army of cats started meowing together like a smart house security system. I was going to hightail it to the door but one last obstacle lay in my way.
An inflatable mini pool, filled to the top. Sadly the cats took over. I woke her up, we talked for a bit. She was pretty cool. May you and your cats live a long and happy 9 lives. Idk about best but I had one on new years eve that was pretty funny. We didn't get back to my place until like 4 am and then we were both pretty drunk and got down to it.
We were in missionary position and after she came and I was about to climax I pulled out and it was so intense I fell towards her and as I was falling I accidentally shot my load up into my own face. Got in my eye and everything. Happy new year to me. Holy shit that was funny to imagine. I was a bouncer in a bar at the time, getting paid to sit in a bar instead of emptying my wallet. I was on year 5 of a relationship I wasn't happy about and, I'll be honest, I wasn't a good boyfriend during any of those years.
This hot blonde with big boobs walked up to me and asked me to sing karaoke. I turned her down. I didn't do karaoke. I asked why she'd even ask me and she said she think she saw me sing before. As she was getting to leave I took a good look at her and was blown away. She was completely out of my league. I stopped her and asked her to save me the last slow dance of the night. A week later, after work, she followed me to my house and had some of best mind-blowing sex ever. I asked her why it took her a week to come home with me.
No no - she was a one night stand. Both of us wanted nothing more than one night of fucking. She didn't cancel her wedding to bang just me, and I didn't even break up with my gf, officially, for weeks. You aren't a dick.
I was absolutely in the wrong. Like I said, I wasn't a good boyfriend. I knew it then! Her the ex and I have since made up and are friends to this day. She's even friends with my wife now. I suppose she realized that getting rid of a kind of shitty boyfriend was a net gain for her. I was in Italy on vacation with a friend of mine who's a girl. I'm a guy, we were both 18 at the time. We meet up with her friend We'll call her Lily who lives in Italy.
We go out for drinks an I soon learn that Lily is really kinky, openly telling us at the bar how she loves getting choked, slapped, and abused. She pulls me aside at our last bar and tells me she's into my friend Lily is bi. A few absinthe shots and half a bottle of convenience store vodka later, we're in our hotel room playing drinking games when Lily starts making out with me.
Worst kissing of my life but as an 18 year old I was still thrilled. We eventually all start kissing and it ends in me achieving a bucket list goal rather quicker in life than I had expected. The sex was really kinky but less than spectacular given our condition. After sex, we take a shower and being rather drunk, I leave the shower without a towel and collapse on bed laying naked in a pool of water. My friend and the Lily leave early in the morning to get Lily back to her house before her dad notices she didn't come home the night before.
They evidently fail to get her home in time because Lily's dad, who had known that she was visiting her American friend, calls my friend's parents worried that his daughter may have been kidnapped. While this is all going on, i'm still in spread-eagle position on the bed completely passed out. Having earlier seen 2 people exit our hotel room the girls , the hotel manager assumed that the two bedroom room was empty.
He walked in for an unknown reason and found a naked, wet, unconscious kid on the bed. My friend returns having just talked to her parents, trying to come up with an excuse why Lily had stayed with us, when the manager runs up to her exclaiming that there was a naked man in her hotel room.
Hooked up with a girl that used to go to the bar with my group of friends. She could drink every guy under the table. I brought her back to my place and after we hooked up, I pretty much just said that I was going to sleep and would drive her home in the morning or she could call a cab. She continued to drink tequila out of a water bottle all night and when I woke up in the morning, she was gone with my car.
I thought this was gonna get buried. I knew her for a few years so I knew she worked for her dad. She used to get bombed and go to work for him so I just took a cab there and got my car. Her dad apologized and paid for the cab and I laughed about it later. Funniest one, later not at the time, it was a night of heavy drinking with an acquaintance and we ended up hooking up.
When I woke up she was gone so I laid in bed for a bit, then checked my phone to see a text from her saying "sorry I bailed but I think I puked somewhere in or outside your house" So I started looking, Then I finally got to the front door. There was puke all over it, she got so close to getting outside lol. So I cleaned it up, went and got showered then went to leave for a coffee only to find more puke all over my deck.
It was a pretty gross morning, no hard feelings between us though, shit happens. I got with him in his parents house while they were out thinking he was just off from work, then on the way to my house he not only tells me his actual age, but that he doesn't feel right hanging out anymore because he feels like he made God angry.
It was a fuckin trip. I'll never sleep with anyone again without seeing an ID. Also, he went to school with my younger cousin and she ended up having a thing for him and I had to explain to her that men are pigs without going into detail and she probably shouldn't talk to him. He even blocked me then unblocked me on fb just so he could continue to check on my page and eventually ended up liking something by accident. Another situation I had was when I unknowingly hooked up with my younger cousin's least favorite teacher.
He was literally awful in bed and his house looked like a college dorm. I didn't even know he was a teacher until my cousin complained about him. Hooked up with an older guy who was from Australia. He was bald, tattoos everywhere, muscled and hairy. There was a 20 year difference between us.
The sex was amazing. I was at a bar in my hometown. It was 4th of July weekend. The bar was packed. Towards the end of the night a lady that was 38 I was 25 kept throwing pieces of ice at me.
I was kinda confused but just played along by smiling. And that what I did. We got to her place and it was a house that had toys and kids stuff. She was a divorced mom of 2. She also had a pool. We banged all over the house and in the pool. Not wanting to wake up there the next morning I made her drive me home, only 10 minute drive.
Thing is we never exchanged numbers Was an awesome night tho. I was traveling through Brazil. In a city on the northeastern coast, I met a girl at the beach. The following night we went out for dinner. There was a weird tension the whole evening because for one thing we were kind of set up by my friend he first approached her, then handed her off to me , and we both knew that we were going to end up sleeping together, but neither really sure we wanted to.
After dinner, we went up to her tiny apartment where she lived with her seven year old daughter. We had some drinks, and I told her, it's all right if we don't do it, I'm just happy to spend the night with you.
In addition, it was incredibly hot, so I preferred to sleep on the bare tile floor. And she said OK. But eventually, our urges got the better of us. With her daughter sleeping just a few feet away, I got back on the bed. I was too nervous and couldn't get it up. But she was understanding about it. We cuddled for a while, and then I went and stood by the window, looking out at the night sky and city as a spectacular tropical thunderstorm rolled by, splashing rain on my face.
It was a surreal "What am I doing here? Had a 4 year relationship end a week before one of my best friends wedding. Got sloppy drunk the night before. Ended up showing up 20 min late at the ceremony. After that I started drinking. Got pretty drunk and started chatting up the girl whom did the hair of all the bridesmaids. Did some foreplay in the bathroom, stayed for another hour.
Went to her place. Afterwards we got dressed and meet up with the rest of the group whom went to the club. And then left again to my place.
I mean, if you got dumped after 4 years a week before a wedding I would understand being a little upset. I had been at an Ikea walking around for hours, lost in the mind numbing maze composed of affordable futons and reasonably priced lamps. When all of a sudden from across the room I laid eyes on him. Tall and dark, with smooth strong legs and drawers I just wanted to put my hands down into. I took him home that day and we had a fabulous night in the bedroom.
I touched him all over. Truly the best nightstand I have ever had. Drove to a fundraiser thing in the city. I was broke and in grad school, but was asked to attend the fundraiser because I'd been a recipient of their scholarship in the past. Wasn't planning on staying long but then discovered there was free booze.
A lot of free booze. Got to the point on free booze where I was clearly not driving the miles back home. I also did not have any money for a fancy ass hotel in the city. So, I went to the semi-sleazy gay bar up the street. Met a cute boy. Went back to his place. Banged him all night. He tells me to jump in his closet I'm fully nude and my clothes are in the living room.
I start to argue, but he insists, so I get in there and hear them having small talk for almost an hour. I realize I really have to pee, and they just drag on and I'm dancing around. And then the guy I slept with left for work! I can hear the dad making breakfast and just settling in.
I panic, how am I gonna get my clothes Fuck my clothes, I'll use his clothes, so I take the stuff in the closet all I found were shirts. I fucking ran for my life, full speed through the house with sex hair and a long shirt to my car. The dad yelled, 'What the damn hell who are you?!
I ended up hitting it off with a friend of a friend who was just in town on vacation. Now, my last relationship had left me feeling really sexually frustrated. I wasn't interested in any commitment so this seemed like a perfect arrangement. I could release my pent up sexual energy on him and not have to worry about attachments because he would be gone before too long.
After a long night of flirting, we go back to his hotel and have another couple drinks in his hotel room. Everything is going pretty well and we have sex. At this point in the story, you should know that I have a very minor seizure disorder and that I can feel one coming on several minutes before it happens.
I go out for a smoke, make it up two flights of stairs before I give up trying to make it back to the room, lay down on a landing, and have a seizure. After the seizure is done, I drag myself back to the bed and instantly pass out. When I wake up, I notice that it feels damp and sticky between my legs. My first thought is that I must have had my period all over the hotel sheets.
I lift up the sheet to see that I had, in actuality, shit myself. The seizure must have loosened my bowels. I'm just laying there and silently panicking.
The guy I had slept with is still fast asleep next to me. I want to hurry the sheets downstairs to housekeeping but I can't do that without waking him.
I scooped all the sheets up in a bundle and rushed them downstairs to be cleaned. I got away with it. The guy never found out. That was my worst ever one night stand. It was a very small and tight knit community, and had a great party scene. So one night I was at the campus bar, and I ended up hooking up with this hot guy from one of my philosophy classes. I was extremely drunk at this point, and so was he. So we hooked up, and then immediately passed out.
In the middle of the night he woke up me and said 'I'm going to throw up, where should I throw up? I told him to throw it out the window and went back to sleep. Unfortunately the pillow fell on top of a smaller building behind the campus residences. So everyone on campus saw the "puke pillow" and word spread pretty quickly about what happened. Her parents were there. I think because I had recently broken up with my girlfriend, I didn't want anyone to know.
My friends were knocking on the door and trying to bust in. Without even looking how far down it was I jumped out of the second story window, slid down the metal awning and landed right next to who I think was her dad, or at least her dad's friends. I looked over at them, smiled, and then started running.
Ran around the building to the front door and came up behind my friends who were still banging on the door. Felt like Jason Bourne. I was young, dumb, and ready to get some foreign strange. We were at a small gathering and ended up eating way too many special brownies, naturally followed by a trip to a bar with some of my girlfriend's new acquaintances. I naturally zeroed in on the tall, strong, Germanic boy in the bunch. From there, things got fuzzy. I recall making out in the bar — classy.
Somehow, I decided that it would be OK to go back to this man's apartment with him. I don't remember much, except that it was a loft bed and I kept knocking my head against the ceiling during our gymnastic love session. After falling asleep — either from the brownies, the love-making, or the mild concussions — I awoke to harsh daylight and had to climb down a ladder, naked.
As I exited the apartment, I noticed he and his roommate both had computer desks in the same room with World of WarCraft up and ready to go on their desktops. He was a gentleman and walked me to the train station.
I got a lot of looks, as it was a Monday morning. The next night he picked me up at my friends dormitory and took me for a walk around the Arc de Triomphe. We made out one more time on a park bench. While we have never spoken again, we remain Facebook friends to this day. Anonymous "We met at a friends birthday outing. I'd heard from the grapevines this guy has been asking around about me so I knew something might go down that night since we were both going to be in the same place.
The night was long but things progressed pretty fast after loads of drinks. A few bars and one club later the sun came out and I was ready to go home, at that point it was obvious he was coming with me for one reason. I mean not only everything he was doing was wrong even though I tried to help him, but he also stayed for way too long after and had weird personal life chats until I had to kick him out.
Anonymous "When I first moved to NY, at age 20, I researched, googled and explored the lesbian scene as much as I could. It's non-existent where I come from, so this was a complete revelation.
I found one of the very few, if not the only cool gay bar in the city called The Cubbyhole, located at the heart of the West Village. At first, I was really afraid of going in by myself but eventually, got the courage to go in and order a drink. It's a really small space but it was packed with beautiful women and cute boys too!
After an hour wondering around and failed attempts of any interaction, a gorgeous, beautiful, boho-chic girl in her mid 30s came and sat next to me. We started talking, drinking, flirting, kissing, drinking some more, making out and eventually a couple of hours later made it out of the bar and into a taxi to her place.
I don't remember all of it, but I have flashes of sex in the floor, in the bed, in the kitchen, in the sofa, in the bathroom We never really spoke again but I've seen her twice at the Zara in Soho. I unconsciously still look around in case I see her. Anonymous "I was 19, and it was my best friend's dads 50th birthday party. They're a cool family and we're from the same town, so she ended up inviting a bunch of our friends.
Anyway, we all got pretty rowdy and I ended up making out with her hot older cousin on the dance floor. We went back to his place to continue the steamy evening. It was actually great. When I arrived, I realized half of her family was there — including her cousin's mom! They're a tight-knit Greek family, so everyone basically knew I slept with him and kept asking me all kinds of questions.
It was pretty humiliating. Anonymous "I tore my ACL a few years ago and was dreading getting surgery. As an active, sexual person, I went out on a mission the weekend before my surgery: Have the hottest sex possible. I guess you can say I 'settled' but it worked out for the best because I really couldn't get on top, so I just made him do all the work, and I never saw him again. Anonymous "I've had so many crazy weekends in Montauk, but having sex with a hot guy on his share house's porch when everyone went to sleep takes the cake.
When we went back inside, there STILL wasn't room for us to sleep, so he brought me to my house in a cab. I never heard from him again but that porch sex was damn hot. Anonymous "In college, my sorority had a mixer with a fraternity I'd never met before. But while I was at that party, learning the finer points of Beirut ping pong balls are for wusses , I started to eye the cute guy playing against me. Competition brings out my flirty side, so I started talking shit. Then, I promptly lost.
I walked away with my head held in shame. I ended up leaving the party with him, mildly tipsy and annoying his neighbors with my vocal aerobics. I woke up in the wee hours and snuck out, paranoid his roommate was going to come back. After crashing and sleeping off my hangover, my roommate and I wandered to the dining hall. On the way back, I noticed a guy in a hoodie kept turning around to stare at me. I mentioned something to my roommate about a total creeper giving me the eye. To which she responded, 'Um, you hooked up with him last night.
Ten years later, I married him. Anonymous "To be honest, I don't remember much about how we met or where we were. All I remember is waking up from a dream about my ex-boyfriend to find myself in a strange place with a cute, albeit relatively unknown, guy. I gathered my things and realized I couldn't find my jacket from the night before. He was no help. I'd last seen him over 15 years ago. He had been my first love and our relationship consisted mainly of awkward teenage fumblings in awkward locations.
We skirted each other like matador and bull until alcohol and slow music led us to stumble against each other in a clumsy reunion.
We lay there and reminisced about those awkward teenage fumblings until we partook of some very awkward something fumblings. I knew he never would. Nights spent stalking the phone as a year-old had at least taught me he wasn't the type to phone. But, it didn't matter. This one-night stand had given me closure. My first love was no longer the boy who made my heart race like no other man had, ever since. He was just a man who slept way too close to the floor, surrounded by nylon.
Heart vacated, it was now available for new occupier. We went on one date, didn't have sex, but continued to text when we were both drunk. So, obviously, I gave him a call, and he told me to meet him at a bar nearby.
We had a few drinks, and then decided to go back to his apartment to smoke a joint on his roof. Things progressed pretty rapidly from there, and before I knew it, we were both naked from the waist down, and he was pulling a condom out of his pants. We had sex in the middle of the roof, in the middle of the night, in clear view of anyone and everyone who was in the apartment buildings around us.
I haven't seen him again. Not coincidentally, I also haven't fucked on a roof since. Gabrielle "I put an ad on Craigslist Missed Connections for a girl I met for one second at a riot grrrl show in someone's loft. We'd been looking at each other all night and then she introduced herself to me before getting swept up by a crowd of moshing people who smelled like they didn't believe in deodorant.
I thought it was really cool that she didn't mind being tossed around like that. She was wearing a red bandana low on her forehead and lots of black eyeliner. She looked like an andro Natalie Portman and she'd been staring at me as though she already knew we were going to sleep together.
But, she left without saying anything more and so I found myself posting about it on CL the next morning. Not because of any sort of Cinderella fantasy; I thought she was hot and seemed really cool — way cooler than me, at least, which is always appealing. I figured she was the kind of girl who had been dating girls since she was 12, who would be assertive in her interest, who could read a map, and who could maybe fix my sink.
She said she thought it was romantic. We were both under 21, so we met at a cafe and had tea. She talked the whole time, which was fine because I was too nervous, and then she followed me back to my apartment. When she saw the explosion of beauty products strewn across my dresser, she exclaimed, "You're such a girl! To be fair, at the time, I had a nearly-shaved head and mainly wore ripped jeans and tank tops. I was still my fairy-princess femme self on the inside, but was enjoying the experience of being visible to other queer women, through pretty standard visual signifiers.
So, the fact that she didn't realize I would turn out to be 'such a girl' wasn't exactly her fault. Plus, I had said so little during our date — while I knew the basic outline of her life story, all she knew was that I was a good listener. It seemed that we each expected the other person to take charge. It also came to light that, despite her initial swagger, this was actually her first time.
I found this to be extremely disappointing — but also feeling guilty about it. But it felt too late to turn back. When I woke up alone the next morning, she had left a note in careful script on a crumpled receipt that read, 'It was beautiful. What had been beautiful about our anxious fumbling? If anything, it seemed to me that maybe she had gone into it expecting to have a beautiful experience from the moment she declared my CL ad romantic, and was determined to name it that regardless of what happened.
We had both projected different things onto each other, and somehow our night together hadn't ruined her vision of me. I guess she was more committed to the fantasy of me than I was to the fantasy of her. She called me a few times and I didn't pick up, because I was young and didn't know how to politely turn someone down.
It's been over five years, but I still see her every now and then at queer parties. We usually nod at each other, but that's it. We've both grown our hair out and are dating butches. I had never had a one-night stand. I was out with a few guy friends that I barely knew. The club was full of overeager young financial types, but I was lucky to be around a few 'nice' guys. My friend introduced me to a colleague of his. Apparently, we knew some of the same people from back home. Having mutual friends made us way too comfortable His eyes opened wide.
He grabbed my hands and we were in a cab in what felt like 30 seconds. He lived in a barely furnished apartment on the UES. We started fooling around and it was okay, but a little bit awkward. Something felt off that I couldn't quite pinpoint. In a wave of panic, I realized that I was probably his first one-night stand as well, and that he probably had pretty limited sexual experience.
When I wasn't going down on him before sex, he was genuinely surprised and said, 'You're not going to go down on me?! I really couldn't see how anyone could just expect another person to give them head. He wanted to try all these things he'd heard about somewhere He spit out different poses and tried to position my legs all crazy.
And, I remember thinking that if I was actually in a relationship with this guy, it would have been okay for him to ask me to try new things with him. But, I didn't trust him and I felt like his weird science experiment, which is what turned me off. Looking back, he was kind of my own experiment as well, so maybe we're even? It was just something I wanted to experience, and I knew NYC was the place where it needed to happen.
Afterward, I felt pretty stupid. I literally told people this was the stupidest thing I had ever done. Plus, having sex with someone I didn't actually like was boring. I haven't had a one-stand stand since. Brittany "I lost my virginity at a young age to the older boy across the street in the back seat of a car. It was in the park, in the middle of the day, in a planned meet-up during a run.
I had a crush. And so I gave it to him. And it never happened again. In some ways, that day set the precedent for my many sexual flings that have since ensued. Do I really like this guy? Can I see myself telling him my deepest secrets? Putting my heart, body, mind, and soul in their hands?
I genuinely believe that after a good first date or night out with someone, I know what my intention is for them. I'm in for a one night stand. I manage my expectations for that person on the spot. It's okay if I never see him again, or if he doesn't call. I only sleep with someone on the first night if I don't particularly care whether or not I see them again. I know he won't be my forever prince, and therefore, will make him my knight for a night.
We spoke for 30 minutes after the showing — it was flirty, fun. We met a week later for drinks in a charming, dimly lit corner bar. We talked about life, our families, and aspirations. There was a strong commonality and connection. We went back to his place. In the moment that we were moving from the couch to the bed, I judged the situation —whether or not I would go all the way with him.
As charming as he was, my gut told me: He is not the one. And not because there was anything wrong with him.
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